Stop this seasonal madness

Small painting of a rat, dressed as Santa, at the base of a dustbin in Leeds.

Santa Rat says:

Stop this seasonal madness. Go home and eat chocolate.

Update: It's gone... somewhere. Santa-Rat was painted on the inner part of the bin, which I suppose gets swapped out for another whenever they are emptied. Perhaps he's gone to another bin! (1st Feb 2010)

One Life - No Shame

Andrew wears a black and white, diamond pattern, skin-tight, all-in-one suit.

One morning, I got up late and all the fancy tailcoats had been claimed by the other clowns. The only things left were a few waistcoats and some over-sized tie-dye pantaloons. Tie-dye? Fat chance! My only ray of hope was a skinny little harlequin suit at the bottom of the trunk.

"You'll never fit into that", they scoffed, with breakfast porridge running down their chins. "We've all tried."

When I wear this I feel like a villain from Batman, so I'm looking to accessorize with a utility belt and electro-gauntlets. Perhaps some crazy goggles, and a discreet anti-matter pistol. Then Gotham City will know my name, and tremble.

Mark my words: electro-gauntlets.

Update: This photo has been remixed into some amazing product packaging!

Fancy Dress Haiku

Fancy dress party.
A young Marilyn Monroe
Spills wine on her dress.

We've all been there, haven't we?

I composed this one the other evening, while dozing off to sleep. When the idea came to me I leapt out of bed to write it down, so I wouldn't lose it. It only needed a little tweak in the morning.

Here's Another Fine Jacket You've Got Me Into

Andrew poses in a bright blue tailcoat, with hot pink lapels, and a bowler hat.

Saturday was the Unity Day 2009 hospitality night - and yours truly was compère for the evening. I borrowed this marvelous tailcoat from the Ladybird's bottomless circus wardrobe. I don't know that pink and blue are my best colours, but it was fun to wear and got plenty of compliments.

The hospitality night is a chance for the Unity Day volunteers to catch up with each other, let our hair down and have a jolly good knees-up. We do it every year as our way of saying thanks to each other for helping to make Unity Day happen. Lots of us like to dress up to the nines, making a change from muddy boots and steward t-shirts.

There was music from some great local bands: anarchic dance from big-band Bassa Bassa, easy-groovin' reggae from The Roots Family UK, and the oddly named Ukelele Bitchslap, who are lovely. Many thanks to all of them for coming along to entertain us. Between bands I slipped in a recital of Three Ha'pence A Foot by Marriott Edgar, to show folk just how bad the rain could have been.

An exquisite new patchwork Unity banner was shown off by Maggie and Kerri, the new Unity Day wall calendar was passed around, and we saw video and photos from this year's main event. Plus, the home-made curry was superb.

Now the serious business of the Christmas panto can begin...

Holiday Burger Ruined My Life

Holiday Burger Ruined My Life

A depressing headline from the Carlisle News & Star, spotted outside the post office at Silloth.

I was at Solfest with the Ladybird Project, and took a Sunday morning stroll to Silloth. I wanted to visit the sea again, and look across to Scotland.

There wasn't much to do there. The tide was high, so I couldn't see the beach, just a concrete breakwater. There were good views of Criffel and the new Robin Rigg wind farm, as well as a Lifeboat station.

The post office was open, so I picked up the Westmoreland Gazette for a chance to play Spot the Dog again. The latest anomalous big cat news made the front page, whilst page three reported that a Mercedes had been scratched.

It was one of those mornings where I'm glad I don't live in Cumbria anymore.